loz11

My disagreements with my sister were but blips on our screen compared to the hostilities individuals and nations are capable of when anger, fear, and the sense of injustice are allowed to develop unchecked.Putting things aside then becomes quite a different matter.At the apex of desperation and rage, we need a new invention to see us through.The husband, who had resisted coming to the session in the first place, had retreated to the farthest corner of the office, albeit only a few feet away.His wife was in a rage at him for his habit of withdrawing, just as he was doing then, and for leaving her alone too often.This was pretty terrifying for me—never mind what they must have felt.I was standing a foot from the woman’s face, the face of someone with whom I had worked intimately and whom I knew very well, saying the most untherapeutic thing imaginable.I was truly out of the boat.In a split second of fear I made eye contact with her, and I suddenly caught sight of her central self.But it’s not you speaking, I blurted out.Revenge is speaking in your voice.It’s a creature, sitting on your shoulder, and it’s going to get him no matter what, even if it has to destroy you in the process. And the creature appeared, right there on her shoulder, in front of our collective mind’s eye.Suddenly and miraculously I wasn’t angry and I wasn’t trapped, and our sense of connection was completely restored.Moreover a whole new set of phenomena appeared.I saw how much harder it was on the woman to have to manage this Thing than it was on the rest of us.I saw the vicious circle in which she would have to blame her husband for her outrageous behavior just to keep her sanity, while the Revenge Creature celebrated its victory.It was clear to me that It had come into being and split off from her at some early age and had not evolved since then by an inch or an ounce.And, I knew it was all a metaphor.The man moved out of his corner and stood by his wife.Things came into view, one after another.It’s not going to enjoy being discovered, I said.What she is saying is true.I hate being this way! And he grasped it completely by the tone in her voice.She plaintively asked me how she could get rid of the Thing.I knew that if she resisted, it would gain in strength, and if she brought it to the light of day, it would lose its power.Just keep calling it by name, I told her, assume it’s lurking somewhere. Ask yourself, What’s the Creature doing now?

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